Good News For People Who Love Bad News

Life in the Fish Bowl.

I am a goldfish.

I swim around in my little fish bowl and burp up teeny, tiny bubbles
that are labeled things like “onomatopoeia” and “hyperbole.”

Continue reading “Life in the Fish Bowl.”

The Copy Room of Mordor.

There are a lot of things that college and the credential program and the “School of Hard Knocks” can never teach you.
“Trial by fire” is what they call it.

And they…suck.

Continue reading “The Copy Room of Mordor.”

Janky-Ass Jeopardy.

There is this dread that comes with Sundays.
Sundays…in and of themselves…aren’t terrible things.
In fact, they’re actually quite pleasant.

Continue reading “Janky-Ass Jeopardy.”


Talking about love always feels like such a cliche.

Working with high schoolers, they tell me about their new loves and their old loves and the loves that they fear they may never have. And their whole lives up until now (and maybe even still now), people have been telling them that these loves don’t count. It’s just high school. You’re only fourteen.
None of this is real.

Continue reading “Sparks.”

In Defense of Millennials (& the Other Dentist)

For a hundred million years, teeth doctors have been telling lowly peasants to take mint-flavored waxed string, shimmy it in between their teeth, and start slicing their gums open with it.

Continue reading “In Defense of Millennials (& the Other Dentist)”

One-Thousand Paper Cranes

As long as I’ve known me, I’ve never really considered myself as being the most level-headed individual.

Continue reading “One-Thousand Paper Cranes”

Just a Girl.

There was a time in my life where I thought I was going to grow up and become a stand-up comedian (or comedienne…or comediennnnnnnnnne or whatever it is for girls).

Continue reading “Just a Girl.”

Twenty-Five Years Around the Sun

I’m sitting in a Panera right now (because I’m a corporate sellout…and Dagny’s was too busy) listening to No Doubt at a teeny-tiny table with an empty chair across from me.

Continue reading “Twenty-Five Years Around the Sun”

I Forgot to Give This One a Title

There’s this odd thing happening in education where the “old school,” traditional style of teaching is being replaced by this technology-driven, almost uncomfortably relevant, super-streamlined…”new school.”

Continue reading “I Forgot to Give This One a Title”

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